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May 14, 2012 / hippiechickamblings

You Are What You Wear?

Maw: Honey, I wish you’d stop wearing them pants. It’s a sin. The Bible says so. You need to get saved and stop wearing them things.

Me: The Bible says that it’s a sin to wear pants? I don’t think I’ve ever seen that.

Maw: Oh, yeah, it’s in Leviticus, plain as day, Honey. It’s an abomination for women to wear men’s clothes. Things like that will send your soul to hell.

Me: Well, Maw, but I don’t wear men’s clothes. The pants I wear are for women. It even says so on the label. Anyway, I think God has nore important things to worry about than whether or not I’ve got pants on.

Maw: Oh, yes He does worry about it, too. He wants His children to dress right, and that means women don’t wear no pants.

Me: Well, I guess he has a problem with transvestites, for sure.

Maw: Trans-who?

Me: Transvestites. Men who dress in women’s clothes.

Maw: Get away from here!

Me: No, it’s true. Haven’t you heard of them? Some men feel like they should’ve been born as a woman, and they dress in women’s clothes.

Maw: I said, get away from here!

Me: Yeah, they wear dresses and pretty shoes, and the whole nine yards.

Maw: Well, Brother, if that don’t beat all. Bet that looks awful silly, with them hairy legs all hanging out.

Me: Some of them look nice…better than a lot of women.

Maw: Well, I sure hope none of them comes to our church.

Me: Why not? Don’t you think God can love them same as the rest of us?

Maw: It ain’t God I’m worried about. I don’t think the preacher could figure it out.

Me: You don’t think he’s smart?

Maw: Oh, he’s right smart.  But if he needed one of them trans-people to sing or testify, by the time he figured out if he should call them “Brother Jones” or “Sister Jones,” service would be over.

 

copy right 2012 written by hippie chick all rights reserved no part of this may used

2 Comments

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  1. Wonnie / May 23 2012 8:20 am

    Okay, i didn’t know that that laughter could make ones tummy hurt so badly! I wish I could have know your ‘Maw”, I’m sure shw was a treasurer!

    • hippiechickamblings / May 23 2012 1:00 pm

      Yeah, she was the kind of treasure that had she been in a chest of booty found by Blackbeard, he may have thrown the chest overboard…too much treasure trouble!

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